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Thinking about reciprocity and psychotherapeutic relationships had me recal Cognitive dissonance and Carl Festinger Festenger, who recognized such dissonance as operating when imbalances that discomfort us are in play, and where immediate active reponses are, or appear, not to be able to correct imbalances in the social context. The response that is made is to view the events in such a way that the actual actions taken are logically unexpected. Other distortions are within the syndromes that occur when losses, limitations or changes are experienced. Grief includes processes that distort reality and give rise to creative even magical or superstitious thinking. Some distortions occur in relation to the gaining of identity, as Tajfel discovered. The business of knowing or coming to integrate our beliefs about who we are as a person in the world or with a specific place in the world produces identity. In childhood we sweeten the limitating lemons by magnifying focus on the benefits we have, however mean, while souring or regarding less those advantages other children around us have or appear to have. Such distortions continue as identity is challenged or expanded through adulthood.